I realized tonight that I haven't written an entry in months, and I felt a twinge of embarrassment. I don't even know if anyone reads this blog, but it is theraputic for me and helps me process my thoughts. A few minutes of solitude that isn't abruptly interrupted by my son's chubby little hands, trying to squish my cheeks together (his new favorite thing to do). :)
So, it took me a second to decide what to write about. My last blog entry was in September. We're just a few days shy of January now, and so much has happened! Our little man is jabbering like crazy. My husband is working closer to home (hallelujah!). Thanksgiving, Christmas.....so much, so busy. Then I tried to think about something that has really weighed on me lately, and my blog-lightbulb went off.
Friendships.
They're so complex. They're so simple, but still so very complicated. In the past few years, alot of my friendships have changed. Some for the better, some not so much. I've watched my best friend struggle with the sudden and tragic death of her Dad. I've rekindled friendships with friends that I've lost touch with. I've said goodbye to some toxic friendships that were bringing me down. All in all, my close circle of friends has had a major makeover. And over time, it's had me thinking about what I really value in a friend:
1. I do not want 'face friends': You know.....the people that are friends to your face, but would throw you under the bus, the second you turn your back. We all have these kinds of friends. People who love to gossip about you when you're not around. The 'toxic' ones. People who want you to think that they've got your best interest at heart, but deep down, they don't. I've purged alot of these people from my life lately, and I feel alot calmer. No constant worry that I'm being talked about negatively....I'm too old for that mess anyway.
2. I want 'crying friends': The kind of friends that can cry with me in the good AND the bad. The kind of people that I can turn to in the best moments of my life and I know that they will be truly happy for me....and the kind that I can turn to when things are rough, and I know that they will feel honest compassion and love for me. I need to know that my friends will be there on whatever road my life takes me on. Not just there until the path gets rocky.
3. I need friends who need to laugh: How amazing is it to laugh hysterically with your best friend? Having someone to share the silly-side of life with. Someone who really 'gets' your weird sense of humor. I need friends to laugh with. :)
4. I need friends who have great character: I want friends that are genuinely good people. There's a great quote about how, "You are who you surround yourself with". Well, getting older, I've realized that I don't want to be surrounded by gossip, vanity and negativity. I need people who have higher standards for themselves. People who are honest, true and gracious. THAT'S what I want to be surrounded by!
I am thankful to report that I have wonderful people in my life who fit all 4 criteria. I'm so very thankful for the wisdom that comes with age, and the ability to see some people for what they truly are. I've got a small group of people that I know I can rely on. People that love me for exactly what I am, who do not judge me, and who want nothing but great things for me and my family.
Thank goodness for valued friendships. A person could go insane without them. :)
